Oh the frustrations of weight loss. Yes, I am complaining about the middle. Not just my middle per say, but being in the between times. The times where progress seems like its being made, but then again I haven’t made a huge dent in anything to prove it.
I have been on this weight loss teeter-totter for at least 6 months. I am hanging out in the plus 5 pounds, minus 5 pounds and quite frankly I am sick of it.
Today I am on the upside of things, I am up a notch on the ole belt loop and my pants are still feeling loose like they are going to fall off – I should be stoked right? Sadly I am not. I can’t get over my EPIC FAILURE at shopping this weekend.
I have no idea what size I am anymore. I am not sure if it’s a marketing thing to mess with my mind or if I really am just in between sizes. I was trying on medium and large tops and it never failed that the medium was too small and the large was just too big.
Ugh… Now I guess I should be stoked that my pants are falling off of me, but when I went to Maurices this past weekend to buy the same pants a size smaller they did not fit, not even a little.
Now in the last year I lost 14 pounds. 14 pounds. That was a great feeling and a great start, but there hasn’t been much movement since September. Well except for the up five, down five. I am teetering between size 12-14, between a size medium shirt and size large shirt.
I am trying to focus on the positive fact that I am maintaining, that for some people is a hard feat. I wonder how much more I have to do get to a place where I feel satisfied.
I was once told that as soon as I stop worrying about the weight it will just come off naturally. I keep thinking there is some truth to this. I lived 9 months in Italy, ate all the pasta and wine I wanted and managed to lose 25 lbs effortlessly. Granted I was walking everywhere, but I was not counting calories, I was not controlling my food intake, I was not even doing routine workouts. I am still baffled by whatever took place that year in my body.
I will overcome this obstacle. I decided that it has to come easy and naturally otherwise it will never stick and never happen. I need to make choices that are life choices. I am just ready for a change.
I would like to focus on the positives of last year:
- Lost 14 pounds
- I started a running program
- Ran my first 5k & 10k races
- I am incorporating fruits and veggies into my diet daily
- I am drinking more water
- I am cooking more creative and healthy meals
- Spent less time in front of the tv and more time at the gym
- Started this blog as a way to document my marathon journey and to keep motivated in my weight loss
- I had to add that J. Alabama came into my life too – that is a major plus! 😉
Now, I truly hope that a change in my mindset will be the thing that clicks my body to follow suit. I am going to focus on food being fuel for my body, not something I can or can’t eat. I am going to look at working out and running as a treat after a long day at work, not something dreaded that I.HAVE.TO.DO.
So here goes…. A new attitude for the girl stuck in the middle. I have come a long way in one year, so I know anything is possible.