The Big “D”

After a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend catching up with family, I’m reminded how truly thankful I am. Our weekend was filled with laughter, teasing, games, lots of eating, playful twin nephews and tons of catching up as this was the first time in three Thanksgivings that all J’s siblings and parents were able to get together under one roof. It was truly a blessing to able to share this Thanksgiving with all of them.

Unfortunately our trip had to end with heartfelt goodbyes as J. Alabama will not be able to see them again for about a year due to his upcoming Army obligations.

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I assumed the role of army wife over a year and a half ago with the knowledge that my husband could potentially be sent over seas to fight for our country. He told me up front (even before we were married) all the little things that could come with army life.

Being the optimistic person that I am, as well as hearing all the talk of pulling out our troops I just assumed (hoped & prayed) we were exempt from any and all deployment talk. And honestly, as naive as it sounds I kind of liked it better thinking that our little family wouldn’t have to go through something like that.

But alas, it is something our little family is going to have to go through, and it will be happening fairly soon.

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I’m very proud of my husband for everything he has done already for our country, [this will be his second deployment, the first one with me] as well as everything he is setting out to do on this upcoming mission.

I am a mix of feelings and emotions as we embark on this new chapter in our short story thus far. There are so many thoughts and feelings that flood my mind when I think about my husband leaving to do the job that he signed up for. The job to protect me, our new little baby on the way, and our country.

It’s just a hard pill to swallow with all the other changes that I have been going through in the last few weeks, months and heck, I’ll say it…the last year.

It’s been one crazy ride over the last year and half, (getting married, moving across the country twice, and now being pregnant as I prepare for my husband to deploy) and I’m not even fully settled here at army post #2 and soon he’ll be gone.

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I know it’s all part of the job and the military wife stuff I signed up for, but to actually say the word deployment out loud is really really tough.

I’ve been trying to pull strength from some amazing ladies who have gone through this before me, or are currently going through the same thing now. I know it’s not going to be the easiest journey, especially due to our lil pumpkin on the way, but I know just like everything else we will persevere.

***

For my fellow mil-spouses, do you have any tips/advice for gearing up for a deployment?

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19 thoughts on “The Big “D”

  1. Hugs! Deployment is so not fun. The good news is that you already have a blog, which can be a huge support system. (It was for me!) I found that it helped to stay busy. (For me, that meant working, blogging, and running a lot.) As a positive, your presence will be a huge help to your hubby. He’s already deployed before, but this time he’ll have you at home to send him regular e-mails, write letters, skype with, and you can have fun putting together themed care packages.

    One thing my dad (a Vietnam Vet) told me when Stephen deployed was, “It won’t get easier, but you will get used to it.” I found that to be true. You are a tough girl, so I know you will handle all the challenges you face with poise. I’m just sorry y’all have to go through this! And of course, I’m here if you need anything!*

  2. Lady Linz, you are one tough cookie. This news kinda blows.

    The reality of the Army life is nothing close to what is imagined at the beginning. BUT just like you figured going into it, and just like you said right now, you’ll get through it! All of your blog readers are your friends and support system and we’ll be here for you guys every day! 🙂

  3. I know it’s not quite the same, but when I studied abroad a very good friend pre-wrote me about a dozen cards and sent them with me to open whenever I needed a little boost. I remember completely forgetting about them until I was having a very homesick day and pulled one out. I then had them for the next few months and each one had a different message of love or encouragement or even just a fun memory and it was just such an awesome gesture. And since they were all pre-written and sent with me when I left I didn’t have to wait for mail to arrive or try to schedule a phone call with the time difference and all. I had it when I needed it, in the moment. Could be a fun project for you the two of you, but does take some time, which I’m sure you might be short on these days. Thinking of you!

  4. You are so strong. I would have honestly had a hard time committing to a military marriage. The baby will keep you plenty busy, that’s for sure. Try to find a local support system and know that we are all here for you. It’s ok not to be strong all the time, but know you will get through it. Sending prayers and love your way!

  5. Hi Linzi,

    I’m so sorry you’re facing deployment; it’s never easy, but expecting a baby during the deployment really does complicate things. I hope that you will be able to establish a good support system at Ft. Bliss so that you’ll have someone to lean on when needed. We’re all in this together.

  6. I guess it’s one of those things that no matter how prepared you are, you are never really prepared. Being pregnant probably makes it rougher as well. I’m sure you’ll have lots of support though so hopefully that helps. All the best to hubby.

  7. I know everything will work out and you’ll make the most of it. Let me know if you need anything! We’ll be thinking of you.

  8. I know it’s his job but it’s not fun that he has to go so soon, especially with the little Linzi/J. Alabama on the way. I agree with the others, you’re strong and very positive, you’ll make it through. You are proud of him but I bet he’s very proud of you too.

  9. Hey Linz! I’m so sorry to hear he’s going to be deploying–and during your pregnancy! It sounds like he won’t be home in time for the birth. Is that true? I’d love to help you in any way I can, whether it’s giving you suggestions to make sure you’ve got a great birth team, books to read, etc. Please let me know if there’s ANYTHING I can do, ok? I’m available in so many mediums–email, FB message, texting, and phonecall. Get a hold of me anytime. Loves to you guys!

  10. Wow I couldn’t even imagine!! Big hugs to you!!! By the glimpse i’ve gotten from you on your blog, as others have said, I can tell you’re a strong cookie and I just know you’ll get through this. Although I have no knowledge on the army wife life, I am going through at least one thing along with you – b a b y!! If you ever want to chat or vent or anything about pregnancy, I’m always around. I’m sure once our babies come we’ll both be looking for someone to chat with during those middle of the night feedings and such. 😉

  11. I’m so sorry that the big D will happen to you and your family. I wish I had some advice to give. Just know that your family and friends (and blog followers) are here for you and to support you. You are so loved, and we all want to help you in whatever ways we can. Hang in there… You are so strong!

  12. I don’t read the other military wife blogs, but I do follow “Tulips & Flight Suits” who recently went through her husband being deployed when their daughter was 4 months old. It sounds like she has handled things with grace & also lots of tips on how to handle little ones being away from their daddies & how to make that easier/ keep the connection within your family.

  13. I am not an army wife but I went through three deployments with my ex and have several friends and sister-in-law that are army wives. One thing I would suggest is that if there are things you will be responsible for doing that your husband always does, see if you can get a quick lesson in before he leaves. It may head off a very frustrating experience in the future. Also try to get a sense of what communication will be like where he will be (this may not be possible or change) but it can help with managing your expectations for contact. The last deployment my ex went through he barely had internet and phone access so there was limited communication. I would like to think I would have handled that better if I had known that upfront:)

  14. Oh no, I’m sorry about this. My friend and her husband moved with their 3 month old to Kenya for 3 years. And after that he will go for 1 year to Afghanistan. This is tough, really tough on a family. But it also makes you stronger as a family! You and your husband are amazing and you will get through this!

  15. You are a strong woman! It won’t be easy but with the support network you have you will get thru it and you guys will be stronger because of it. There will be lots of feeling and emotions, and especially with the hormones being pregnant, but just know it’s ok to have those feelings. I will always be here for you to talk with. Keeping busy will help too. That’s how I started running! But maybe some walks in the foothills and yoga classes (which I just saw a studio offering yoga for pregnant woman!) will help! And I would LOVE to help you put together scrap books and boxes to send to him while he is deployed. I always sent a box for Gene and then another for his Soldiers with random stuff cause I knew there were lots of Soldiers that didn’t have anyone sending them things.
    You will come out of this stronger than ever 🙂

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