Say yes to yourself


I am excited to report that I completed another amazing Cardio Kickboxing workout last night after work. It’s honestly my favorite workout, even above running (gasp!), zumba-ing, yoga-ing,  etc… Honesty is pouring out of my soul today.

Once I arrived home I sat down for dinner and snuggled into the couch to watch an episode of The Office .  Every time I have sat down even for a second this week I have fallen instantly asleep. This tells me that my body needs more rest and I know that I am just physically and mentally exhausted.

In the midst of my midevening nap I got a phone call. The topic of helping a mutual friend move this weekend came up.

Boyfriend asks me if I am going to help our friend move this weekend.

I reply, “Well… I mean.. he never really asked me, so probably not.”

Him: “well no one ever really asks you to help them move, you are just supposed to help”

Me:  “Really?  I am just supposed to my offer my services up to every single person who has something that they need help with?  I am thinking the most help I could be this weekend is to make sandwiches or something”

Him: Silence

Now don’t take my reaction the wrong way, it came out a little crabby (mind you I was just awaking out of a deep slumber). The problem is not that I can’t carry my weight in hauling heavy boxes or that I am a selfish bastard who can’t do something good for a friend, but honestly there is just only so much of ME to give.

I am realizing more and more that I am the type of person who will say yes to just about anything, and tends to fill in every slot of spare time with some sort of activity. So for me to actually say no without guilt and without worry was a crazy feeling.

I was reading a post over at Tricia’s blog yesterday about loving yourself and putting yourself first and got to thinking about how am I loving myself and how am I putting myself first? Saying yes to everyone is not healthy and really affects the essence of me. It wears me down and stresses me out and makes a not awesome person to be around.

Certain aspects of my life are calming down and I am starting to find my groove again. I am putting my workouts back on the calendar and accomplishing good things.  I am also recommitting to my 10 in 2010 goalutions

I am not heartless and I would love to offer my help to all of my friends who need me and I do hope that I will be there to truly help someone that really could use it. But I think for a short while, until I find myself completely back into my rhythm I need to focus solely on me.

By being a better me, I can be a better friend, sister, daughter, girlfriend and blogger to you.

So no, I have decided not help said friend move out of respect for myself.  I feel as though February has escaped me and I would like to take a day to gather my thoughts and catch up and refresh myself  on  my goalutions. I would also like to make a plan of attack for the rest of the month and even year.

So, I am going to listen to my body and let it recover, in the mean time I wish you all the best weekend and know that I send you friendly Valentine’s wishes of happiness!


10 thoughts on “Say yes to yourself

  1. I don’t think that’s selfish at all. I come from the thinking that if someone needs help they should just flatout ask for it. I’m also of the philosophy that one should take care of oneself first and foremost. 🙂

  2. Like Andrea, I think people should ask for help when they want it, and not always expect it. People tend to walk all over one another when they constantly say yes!

  3. Good job Linzi! It’s so ‘easy’ to say ‘YES,’ as we do want to be able to help everyone, but it is not selfish to say, ‘no.’ It is saying ‘YES’ to you first. If you would have went, you would have resented it and been angry and mad at yourself for doing that, instead of maybe reading a book…yummm…
    Enjoy you!

  4. Love it! Me and the BF used to have this conversation pretty regularly. My first priority being school (and work), and my second being the gym, he gets hurt when I go to my gym class instead of running off to the bar or restaurant or baseball game with our friends. I do get lots of that other stuff in, but if I did what everyone else wanted me to do instead of me keeping myself healthy, I would weigh 3million pounds from never going to the gym and taking ‘me’ time. Your health is all you have! 🙂 Just figured out my google reader, and now I have you back in my life hah Happy Valentines Day!

  5. Great post, Linzi! I would only offer a best friend help to move (which means about 3-4 people are exempt from having to ask). And as for me, I’m done asking for help. The next move will involve big, strong men with moving trucks whom I PAY to do all the work, lol.

  6. wow! how COULD you run more than 6 miles with all your other workouts? 🙂 that’s awesome I’ve been thinking I need to do some cross training as well… maybe this will inspire me to get on it. 😉

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