I am excited to report that I completed another amazing Cardio Kickboxing workout last night after work. It’s honestly my favorite workout, even above running (gasp!), zumba-ing, yoga-ing, etc… Honesty is pouring out of my soul today.
Once I arrived home I sat down for dinner and snuggled into the couch to watch an episode of The Office . Every time I have sat down even for a second this week I have fallen instantly asleep. This tells me that my body needs more rest and I know that I am just physically and mentally exhausted.
In the midst of my midevening nap I got a phone call. The topic of helping a mutual friend move this weekend came up.
Boyfriend asks me if I am going to help our friend move this weekend.
I reply, “Well… I mean.. he never really asked me, so probably not.”
Him: “well no one ever really asks you to help them move, you are just supposed to help”
Me: “Really? I am just supposed to my offer my services up to every single person who has something that they need help with? I am thinking the most help I could be this weekend is to make sandwiches or something”
Now don’t take my reaction the wrong way, it came out a little crabby (mind you I was just awaking out of a deep slumber). The problem is not that I can’t carry my weight in hauling heavy boxes or that I am a selfish bastard who can’t do something good for a friend, but honestly there is just only so much of ME to give.
I am realizing more and more that I am the type of person who will say yes to just about anything, and tends to fill in every slot of spare time with some sort of activity. So for me to actually say no without guilt and without worry was a crazy feeling.
I was reading a post over at Tricia’s blog yesterday about loving yourself and putting yourself first and got to thinking about how am I loving myself and how am I putting myself first? Saying yes to everyone is not healthy and really affects the essence of me. It wears me down and stresses me out and makes a not awesome person to be around.
Certain aspects of my life are calming down and I am starting to find my groove again. I am putting my workouts back on the calendar and accomplishing good things. I am also recommitting to my 10 in 2010 goalutions.
I am not heartless and I would love to offer my help to all of my friends who need me and I do hope that I will be there to truly help someone that really could use it. But I think for a short while, until I find myself completely back into my rhythm I need to focus solely on me.
By being a better me, I can be a better friend, sister, daughter, girlfriend and blogger to you.
So no, I have decided not help said friend move out of respect for myself. I feel as though February has escaped me and I would like to take a day to gather my thoughts and catch up and refresh myself on my goalutions. I would also like to make a plan of attack for the rest of the month and even year.
So, I am going to listen to my body and let it recover, in the mean time I wish you all the best weekend and know that I send you friendly Valentine’s wishes of happiness!